Friggin’ Chase Hughes

Have you ever been triggered by someone's take on an aspect of life because it makes way more sense than whatever the fuck you're currently doing?

Chase Hughes, ex-marine, a world-class human behaviour and body language expert had the cojones to say that he felt grateful every morning for the things he prepared for himself on the day before.

It upset me because I, too, anticipate my future needs all the time.

Clothes?
There's always one outfit at the ready in the morning, sometimes two, in case it's raining or something.
Breakfast?
Ready-to-microwave.
Work stuff?
Backpack is locked and loaded with different types of snacks (they're important, shut up).

My past self is pretty much mothering my present self.

The difference between Mr. Hughes and I? I don't feel good about what I do. Over-anticipating is a way for me to soothe my anxiety. It's driven by the fear of an uncertain future. I'm afraid to wake up groggy in the morning, to feel rushed, to choose clothes whose shades of grey clearly don't go together or worse, forget my snacks.

And any action of mine led by anxiety has to be inherently bad, right ? The very proof of my vulnerability and how I let my emotions drive my behaviour.

The reason why I started anticipating my future needs doesn't really matter. It's a good practice to do things when you have the most brainpower to do it. Period. It's useful, too. I get to sleep longer in the morning and to start the day in a calmer way. What if instead of feeling ashamed, I could feel grateful like bloody Chase Hughes? I'm already doing the right things, all I need is a little tweak in perspective and mindset.

At this point, it's just a decision to make.